This page was created by Oakley Montgomery. The last update was by David Squires.
Mathu's Thoughts
This poem derives from an early typescript draft, with an alternate spelling of Candy's name. It features a scene of Candy pleading to Mathu to resist his arrest. In response, my poem gives Mathu a chance to speak to Candi as if they were alone. Gaines never shows Mathu expressing his sensitive nature. However, it is evident that he loves Candy, even if he showed it differently than Candy expected. I like to imagine that his interaction with Candy might have been different. So, I took quotes from the chapter and developed Mathu's thought process in a different way than shown on the draft pages. The italic words are the words I imagine Mathu wanted to say but did not speak aloud.
“Somebody’s gotta go, Miss Marshall,” Mathu says. “The people done picked me.”
The people done picked me.
Somebody’s gotta go.
My time has come
I gotta go, Candi
They done picked me
There nothin to question
It’s me
My time
They done picked me
My time
OUR time
“I carried you on my back, I held your hand. I carried your daddy on my back, too, and held his hand.”
I held your hand. I carried you on my back.
I held your hand.
I remember those days, Candi
Don’t worry
I remember picking those berries
Gotta watch out for those sour ones
They hurt your cheeks
I carried your daddy on my back
Just like I carried you
I remember how tiny your hand was in mine
But they done picked me
It’s my time
I held your hand
You gotta let go of mine
“A man is all I ever wanted to be. All I ever tried to be. Nothing more, nothing else.”
A man is all I ever wanted to be.
Nothing more.
A man
That’s what I want to be, Candi
What I need to be
Nothing more
A man
They done picked me to be the man
That’s what I gotta do
That’s what I wanna do, Candi
Mathu is a man
I am a man
That’s all I want to be
Nothing more
Nothing else